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THE BEST WEB PAGE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD YOU SON OF A BITCH
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THE WORLD WIDE CHURCH OF CHUBBY CHECKER! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!
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Chubby Checker
JOEY'S WIDE WORLD OF WORLD
Welcome to the World Wide Web. Perhaps you've heard of us. We invented the WWW in 1961 in Cabinville, Virginia in the backseat of my Mother's jet plane. At the time we were operating a kosher fried chicken business and supporting Chubby Checker (who was living in the back seat of my Mother's pizza delivery truck). My friends, Luscious and Pepe(my number one friend on the right) and I decided we needed a way to not only promote our kosher chicken business, but also encourage chubbs to get off of his behind and develop some new twisty type dances. So we created a brand new thing- A Web site. At first we considered putting our site on billboards across the country, but since we only had fifteen cents and a bucket of warm spit from grandpa's mouth leakings, we knew our options were limited. So we invented the World Wide Web. Don't ask how, just lay back and enjoy. One clue on how we invented the web: Chainsaws and lipstick. Now, do you really want to know?
MY FAVORITE FOODS:
Fried Chicken
Pudding
Cake
Poop
Love
Famous Negress sharecroppers
Beer
Any foods that fly across my lawn that I can catch!!!!
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CHUBBY CHECKER HIGHLIGHTS
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This is the yet to be constructed "Chubby Checker Room" on our web site. You'll see and hear all about the greatest rock and roll star in the world. We have pictures of him eating, sleeping, tasting, gargling, tingling, pushing, standing, toasting bread, moving, painting, putting peanut butter in a hole, making Mrs. Clinton run away, wiping off the table, soaping Mamie Eisenhower's back, pointing, not pointing, putting his spoon in the parlor, and of course turning down the wrong way on a one way street! Stay tuned to this spot for the latest on Chubbs and his fight for recognition from the Rock 'N' Roll Hall of Fame and The Army Corps of Engineers! Can you believe it!
COMING SOON! CHUBBY WHIPS FATS DOMINO'S ASS!!!!
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OUR CREDO
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Our Credo:
Nobody told me I would have to have a credo! I invented the whole WWW, so I think I should get a pass on this whole credo business. What's it to you anyway what my credo is? Suppose I don't want to have one, are you gonna make me. Try it buster. Who the hell do you think you are anyway, you son of a bitch. That's right, I called you a son of a bitch. Think you can take me? C'mon, I'll fight you right here. Or are you a wimp? Alright, I'll meet you behind the gym after school and we'll see who's got guts, you no good mama lovin' son of a bitch. I hate you! HATE YOU. I spit on you. Hey, wait! Where you going? I was kidding! C'mon. Come on! Can't you take a joke? I didn't mean it, I just lost my temper. I don't know why. Maybe I'm frustrated that Chubby's career is in the dumper, and that my head hurts. Ow! Ow! It really hurts man. I don't think I can make it to my next class. Help me! Help me! Where you going? Come back here you son of a bitch! That's right I called you a son of a bitch! What are you going to do about it? (to be continued...)
COMING SOON: A PIECE OF FRIED CHICKEN KILLS MY GREAT GRANDMOTHER. (In theory that is. You see she died before I was born, so I don't feel guilty. I suppose!
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